


Story of Their Lives

by westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist



Category: The West Wing
Genre: F/M, Friendship, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-07-21
Updated: 2004-07-21
Packaged: 2019-05-30 11:36:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15095906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist/pseuds/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist
Summary: It never ceased to amaze him how he could give so little of himselfand get so much from her in return.





	Story of Their Lives

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

**Story of Their Lives**

**by:** LauraH2215

**Character(s):** CJ, Toby  
**Pairing(s):** CJ/Toby  
**Category(s):** Romance, Friendship  
**Rating:** TEEN  
**Summary:** It never ceased to amaze him how he could give so little of himself and get so much from her in return.  
**Author's Note:** I obviously did not write Neil Diamond's Story of My Life. All disclaimers apply. 

It never ceased to amaze him how he could give so little of himself and get so much from her in return. 

It seemed it had always been that way with them- ever since Toby Ziegler had went to California to convince CJ Cregg to come work for Bartlet as his Press Secretary. At first she had thought the work and pay to be below her, but the look and excitement in her best friend's eyes when he mentioned the new candidate for President of the United States had made CJ say yes. 

And so she had followed him to Washington and fell in love not only with the New Hampshire candidate's policy and charm, but with the best friend that she had once deemed off-limits. 

It had killed CJ to see Toby marry Congresswoman Wyatt, but she had dealt with it in her own way. By burying herself in her work and trying to find a new person to fulfill her. 

But it had always been Toby for her, and when they began to work on Bartlet's campaign, and later when they took the Whitehouse, it got harder and harder to deny that simple fact. So, now it was easy to give in when he came knocking on her apartment door late at night, either drunk, lonely or horny, or all three, and wanting his best friend. 

"CJ, you there?" Toby knocked gently on the apartment door. This was always the way their nights started. 

CJ would toss the books she was reading for the morning briefing aside and invite him in. They would eat if it wasn't too late and maybe watch a movie or have a lengthy debate over whatever issue was on their desks at the time. Mostly they'd be too tired to do anything but crawl into bed. Someone would initiate the first kiss and their night would conclude by making love. 

Neither would think or feel what they were doing. That was just who they were. It was what they needed and wanted at the time, so they did it. It didn't affect their jobs, so it didn't matter. They were in the company of each other, so it felt good. Words were seldom used, and action was always welcomed over any verbal confessions. 

And that's why it was hard for Toby to express how he felt. How he wanted to tell her that he wanted more than sex. Because the next morning she would already have been gone from her own apartment. She'd leave a note telling him to feel free to use the shower and that he was welcome to anything that was in the fridge. And then he would steal a glance at her from across Leo's office at Senior Staff that morning and she'd just smile. 

If he tried to approach the delicate topic of what had become of their relationship recently with her, she'd tell him the same thing over and over again, and their conversation would take on the same structure. 

"Toby, it's okay. You know I don't mind. If I did, I'd tell you to get lost." 

"I know. It's just. I shouldn't have. We shouldn't. I." 

She'd smile. " Toby, you are too cute. For the Communications Director to the President of the United States, you certainly have a hard time finding words sometimes." 

He knew it was true. " You're my best friend, CJ. I don't want to take advantage of you." 

"In case you hadn't noticed, it isn't like I'm pushing you away, Toby. I like you, too." 

And at this point something would interrupt them and they'd never get past the awkward part. 

So, tonight he lies in bed with her in his arms. He had spent the whole day seeking whatever advice he could get his hands on. Something about them had to change. He felt shallow and empty whenever he woke up and she wasn't there, and he knew it was his own fault. Because even though she claimed she was comfortable with their relationship, she wasn't. And she deserved more. 

God, she deserves the world, Toby thinks to himself as he breathes in the familiar scent of her rich red hair that is splayed across his chest. She's so strong and intelligent and witty. And she lives in a man's world, yet somehow she's the most womanish woman I know. He remembered something Josh told him the President described CJ as. What was it? A 50's movie star. Yeah, a 50's movie star because she was so capable and loving. 

Something has to change, he thinks as CJ stirs in her sleep. But they couldn't go backward. He couldn't imagine not having this. Or maybe it would be better not to have this, because at least it wouldn't make him want to scream her name and tell her that he loved her. Every night he spent alone was lonely and painstakingly long, but every night with her felt like he was alone and was painstakingly too short. He hated this half-way stuff. It was time to find the words to tell her how he felt and what he wanted. It wasn't fair to just go knocking on her door and expect her to tend to his every need just because they were totally in tuned to each other. 

Toby begins to rub her back with one hand and bends to kiss her long neck, something he had had a fixation with for years. CJ smiles unconsciously and moves the one hand she has on Toby's chest up and down his torso. They were totally in tuned. 

"You want to jump me right now, don't you?" CJ mumbles with a soft laugh into Toby's chest. 

Toby takes in a deep breath. "Well, when don't I?" He laughs low but richly. 

After a minute of silence, Toby gently takes CJ's chin under his finger and wills her to look at him. "You know that you are an incredibly gorgeous and intelligent woman and that I care about you so much, right?" 

CJ searches Toby's dark eyes in the blackness of the room. " Well, I know that I'm gorgeous and intelligent, but I didn't know you thought that." She smiles in attempt to contrast Toby's seriousness. 

"I do. CJ, you're everything to me, and, and I just, I don't know how to say that properly. Just, just promise me that tomorrow you won't leave without waking me up. Tomorrow I wanna wake up right beside you, okay?" 

CJ seems satisfied. "Alright. Toby, are you okay?" She runs her hand down his arm comfortingly. 

Toby swallows. "Yeah, I'm fine. Much better, actually. I just don't want to be stuck in this place in our relationship forever. One day things will change, I promise." He could say it because he knew she wasn't comfortable with it, either. That it wasn't fun to lie beside someone and not be able to tell them how you felt. 

CJ nods. " Okay, good. But Toby, promise me that if things do change, they stick. Because I could never lose you, Toby. You break my heart, you don't get a second chance." 

Toby nods obediently. He knew the rules, and there was no way he could hurt her. Of course, he could always still disappoint her if he didn't find the words to give his heart and word of honour. "I know. And your heart is safe with me. That's a promise." He pulls her in even closer. 

One day he would find the right words to make her believe him, to make it completely comfortable between them. It never ceased to amaze him how he could give so little of himself and get so much from her in return. 

The End 


End file.
